Love Yourself

‘ If you want to soar in life, you must first learn to F.L.Y ( first love yourself) ‘ – Mark Sterling

I remember sitting in school being painfully bored when a teacher would go on and on about positive mental health, having a positive view of your body and mind etc and thinking would they ever just leave and go appear on Oprah or something.  But as I get older I realise that my problem wasn’t the message the teacher was trying to get into my teenage mind but the fact that as a teen I had no real idea who I was so it was  pretty hard to be confident and happy in myself.  I didn’t know exactly who I was in my early 20’s either but in the last 12 months or so  I’ve finally, well, found myself . Took long enough eh?!   I think once you know who you are it’s important to like who you are.

Loving yourself or even liking yourself are things so many people find hard to do, often it’s because in our society people will say you are full of it or have notions about yourself so for an easier life a lot of people undersell themselves but at what cost? I was at a Damien Dempsey concert a few weeks back and he talked about loving ourselves and loving what we see in the mirror. I can’t remember his exact words but he talked about kissing a mirror at night so when you look in it the next morning you can see the imprint of your lips and how that should make you happy as there is nothing more important than loving yourself and being comfortable in your own skin. Now I am aware that it may sound cheesy to some people but that is ok. I think for those of us out there who have struggled with self-acceptance, when you finally get that break through moment and start to like yourself, you will appreciate Damien’s message.  I’m not saying that you have to view yourself as perfect in order to love yourself, it’ s important to recognise your weaknesses  but not to obsess over them and constantly criticise yourself as many people do.  I think it is so important to appreciate whatever talents you have.

I find as the months go past, the less I care about people’s opinions of me, a person’s perception of you isn’t reality. If you want to know why they think a certain way about you than ask them, consider their reply (if you get one, sometimes asking people to back up their statement proves difficult) and decide whether you think it is a fair point or just someone being rude/jealous. If you don’t want to know then leave them to think whatever they wish!

Love yourself first and always.

Kayaking in Killarney with Outdoors Ireland. A must.

Kayaking is fun. Kayaking in the beautiful surroundings of Killarney, including Lough Leane and Innisfallen is something everyone should try at least once. I was so ignorant of the amazing nature that exists in my home county. 

Back to the start.

I've had this love/hate relationship with water every since a very scary water incident as a kid. My fear of water meant that the sight of waves at a beach or in a movie would make me feel queasy.I've never gone on the outdoor slide at the Aqua Dome and one time I pretty much had a panic attack involving a pier and a tourist submarine on holidays (long story..) So naturally last Saturday I decided to go kayaking in the lakes of Killarney, including the deepest lake in Ireland. 

Why? Because I felt like I was missing out on seeing a beautiful part of the world. I started swimming lessons again late last year and that definitely helped me with my fear of water but I knew I would have to get out of my comfort zone with water in ore.

If you don't have any issues with water than the day will be a breeze, still possibly tiring depending on your fitness but it's good to push yourself.

One of my "oh Jesus" what am I doing in the water moments 

Tips for Kayaking: 

• Enjoy your adventure, be prepared to earn your lunch
• Bring a tasty lunch (you'll deserve it) and keep hydrated! ( I didn't and it did impact my energy levels, rookie mistake) 
• Remember that it is highly unlikely you'll fall out, ask for help if you need it and you'll get it. 
• Your arms may hurt but it's so so worth it! Doing some stretches when I got home helped. 

                           Up the Kingdom

Book Review: Me and my mate Jeffrey

In a weird way it's always a comfort to read about someone elses battle with anxiety. I use the word battle because that's exactly what it is, anxiety is a battle between the rational and irrational thoughts in your brain, it can result in both mental and physical scars. It can make you feel like the loneliest person in the world and make you lose interest in everything you love.

Niall Breslins book is a detailed account of his journey and often it is a hard read. But the most difficult parts to read are often the most valuable parts of this book as I know so many people who can relate to it and being able to relate to a situation is so important when you often feel like no one can possibly understand what you are going through.
I'm not going to go into any detail of what is in the book as it really needs to be read cover to cover as it's his story to tell, not mine.

I've learnt so much from his story and I highly recommend it to anyone who has anxiety or knows someone who is in battle.

" In a Land of Make Believe, that Don't Believe in Me" Abortion and Women's Rights in Ireland

The world is composed of many things which  will always stay the same. Waters chemical formula is H2O, 2 + 2 =4. It's just how it is, we live by it, accepting that some things in life can't be changed. When it comes to science sometimes the odds are in your favour and sometimes they aren't. That's life. Stephanie Roches goal was pretty fantastic. Outside of  her football skills, there were of course some other factors to take into consideration such as gravity, velocity, angles, the positions and actions of the other players and so on. In that very moment, when all of these factors combined in a certain way, it was  determined that the ball would end up in the net, there would be no other outcome and boy was it a good one. 

When Sean Abott threw a cricket ball, the speed and angle at which it was thrown, the positioning of Phil Hughes, the part of his neck which was exposed, all of those factors in that very moment determined that Phil Hughes would pass away from his injuries. There was nothing that could be done. 2+2 =4 and on that day 4 was death.

When a young woman in her 30's collapses and dies at home from sudden adult death syndrome, one  fact which matters to her family is knowing there was nothing in that moment which could have changed the outcome. When you are thrown into a new scary world of grief you cling onto the fact that there was nothing that could have been done.  No law of the land or medical intervention could have saved her in that moment.  

When Savita Halappanavar became desperately ill and requested a medical termination, the fact is there WAS something that could have been done which may have saved her life. However the laws of the land,not science or sheer dumb bad luck prevented this from happening. The laws of this country played a major role in how this scenario ended. 

The fact of the matter is that these laws can be changed, the constitution can be changed.The world won't self implode if Ireland makes the necessary changes to man made laws. Yet we continue to live in a society which  forces this made up world on us. People may argue that no we can't change the laws of the land because of X, Y and Z. I am well aware of the argument for the right to life of the unborn but I'm not here to argue for their rights, I'm here to say that I don't see my body as a vessel but this is exactly how the Irish government are treating it as witnessed in the recent case of PP v HSE. 

My body is not a vessel, it is a canvas which I dress in a way that I choose.  I keep my body healthy by the foods and exercise I choose. When something happens to my body which is beyond my control but not the control of medicine, I should be able to choose which medical path I want to go down. Why can't we look outside the man made box we have confined ourselves and realise that this system isn't working, because that's all it is. It's a system, not a true and undeniable fact of life. 

These changes may offend people, make them feel uncomfortable but not changing things has resulted in the death and loss of dignity of women. How many more women and families will be forced to suffer purely for the fact that we were born female and live in a world where we don't get to determine what we do with our bodies.

It angers me because Savita didn't have to die, at the very least she  could have been given a fighting chance.  A chance whose odds were determined by  the best possible efforts of medicine/ science and not by the inhumane shortcomings in our legal system. 

Apologies for any typos. 

Meeting Daniel Radcliffe (Harry Potter)

London has been incredible for me. I ventured off by myself on Thursday    night and I've encountered lots of      friendly people along my way. Pat  Shortt and Daniel Radcliffe to name but a few. 

               

         Outside the Noel Coward Theatre

 At around 10:15 tonight I met  Daniel Radcliffe. I've been an avid  Harry Potter fan since 2001. His   performance today in  the Cripple of Innismaan was captivating and  so were the rest of the cast. It was  an incredible day.

Day trip to Aranjuez

Hello! Last Friday I went to the town Aranjuez with two of my friends. It was quite a dull day weather wise but a fun day nonetheless. I knew I wanted to return there as I was eager to do some walking in the hills outside of the town. Two days later I returned with Craig, we were armed with lots of fruit and reading to take on the hills. 

Moving to Madrid.

Hey folks! I think its  about  time that I share my experience of life in the Spanish capital  with you all.

This will be the first of a couple of post, as I have been here for quite a few months now there are many topics I'd like to cover with you - preparing for the move, moving, looking for work, a house etc! 

I want these series of posts to be as informative as possible as  there are so many things to consider when moving  to Madrid or wherever you are planning to go. 

A trip to Segovia and Rapunzels castle

Hello! I thought I would share some photos from a recent trip I was on. A couple of friends and myself made our way to the historical town of  Segovia. The landscape was beautiful and it was wonderful to get out of Madrid for a couple of hours. It was strange seeing mountains and sheep for the first time in months.  I grew up in the countryside so being in a city for 3 solid months was a big change but I love it.

Aquaduct

We visited  the Alcázar of Segovia which is a stunning castle. This castle was inspiration for the castle in the  Walt Disneys film  Rapunzel and the  Cinderella castle at Disneyland. 

On our way to the castle we came across this very unusal  and detailed statue near the Aquaduct of Romulus and Remus, the  founders of Rome, suckling on a wolf...

Segovia is definitely a must see place if you are ever up around that part of Spain. I think Toldeo is next on the list and then I will venture off to  Morocco early next year. 

Have a good day!

A shocking tale of make-up expiration!

Hello! While I was organising my make-up the other day, I spotted an interesting symbol on my Urban Decay primer,it was a picture of a little jar with '6m' written above it. I've seen this symbol many times but I always thought it was something to do with the weight of the product or some jazz like that. I'm absolutely useless when it comes to anything with numbers!But then it kinda struck me like a brick that it was an expiration date and I was gob smacked to find out that eye shadow primer expires in six months?! Even if I wore eye shadow on a daily basis  there is not a change in hell or high water that I  would use the whole 25ml tube up. Of course when it comes to eye make up, you have to be extremely careful but part of me hopes that Urban Decay are just covering their backs.  Anyway, this got me thinking about the expiration date on all my other products. I was pleasantly surprised by some and terrified by others!

Urban Decay Primer (25ml) - 6 months

Bourjois Chocolate Bronzer -18 months; Soap and Glory: Righteous Butter 300ml  - 24 months; Maybelline  Falsies  Mascara - 6 months

I always throw out mascara after 3 months as I find it gets quite clumpy and dries up pretty fast. You can decrease the amount of oxygen and bacteria getting into your product by twisting the brush when you are taking it out and putting it back into the bottle but I don't think it's smart to hang onto it for longer than 3 months.

Maybelline Colour Sensational lipstick - 24 months; Benefit's Hervana - 12 months; MUA eyeliner - 6 months

I was surprised by the short life span of eyeliner. I think, howeverm if you keep a lid on them and sharpen them regularly you'll therefore decrease the build up of bacteria  and you could get a lot longer out of them especially if you just use them on the your lids.I rarely use it on my actual waterline.

Urban Decay Anniversary Palette - 12 months; Gosh blush - 36 months; Benefit Hello Flawless Oxygen Wow foundation - 12 months

 When I checked the expiry date on my Urban Decay Anniversary powder eye shadows I could have cried - 12 months...This is just unbelievable to me! No, no and no...There is not a chance that I am throwing my eye shadows out after just 12 months. I haven't experienced any problems with eye shadows that I have had for longer than 12 months and I have yet to hear of any horror stories!

The Casualties 

Soap and Glory Sexy Mother Pucker lipgloss - 24 months; Benefit's Benetint - 12months; Benefit Pocketpal - 12 months

I've never been into lipgloss and this one by Soap and Glory never excited me or gave me voluptuous lips either, so I don't mind throwing it out even though I rarely used it. I've had it for under two years and even though it hasn't expired yet, I can already see that it has gone off colour and the ingredients are starting to separate.

I've had my Benetint for about two and half years, the pocketpal came free with it so that was a lot of Benetint product to get through. I used it every day in college but as you can see from the picture, I have so much of it left! I never liked how Benetint felt on my lips and the lipgloss was just horrible looking and felt sticky so my pocketpal was neglected. These Benefit bottles really last for ages but when they have an expiration date of a year maybe it would be better if it came in a smaller bottle and were a few quid cheaper as well!
I noticed in the last few months that every time I applied Benetint to my face, I was getting tiny little red bumps on my skin but as they soon disappeared I kinda forgot about it. I never really connected the dots. Looking back, it was obviously the bacteria filled little dots of Benetint which I was blending onto my skin which were to blame for these brief outbreaks.Gross right? I have no choice but to toss it out!

I'm relieved that I only have a few products to toss out, from now on I'll be keeping an eye on all expiration dates. If you have any off colour products, products that don't smell  or work as well  as they used too then it's time to say au revoir!

Thanks for reading!

Online Abuse - The Never-ending Story ?

"I consider myself lucky as I have never been the victim of internet abuse." There is something fundamentally wrong with that sentence. No one should have to consider themselves lucky, internet abuse should not happen full stop. Like all forms of abuse, whether it's bullying (physical and emotional) in school, the workplace etc or being in an abusive relationship, all the focus appears to be on what to do if you are a victim. Victims are told various ways to help stop the abuse happening, they are advised to confide in someone they trust, make use of help lines etc. However, the focus is never on telling the abuser to STOP what they are doing, this part is just crammed in as a footnote. This seems so bizarre to me. 

Too many people have  cried themselves to sleep, self harmed and died because of abuse they received online. Yet it seems that  people are free to do and say whatever they want about people they know or complete strangers as they can hide behind the anonymity of the internet. I am all for free speech but what about freedom from harassment?  There is a difference between having an opinion and  posting vile abusive messages on someone's youtube, twitter, facebook page whether as a one off or on a continuous basis. I don't think I'll ever understand how people can attack a person in such vicious ways, have they no respect for other people or even themselves? 

It is easy to tell someone to ignore it but you can never know how a person reacts to receiving hurtful comments, some may shrug it off, but for others it may chip away at their confidence because as soon as something hateful is posted  it is not always easily removed from the internet or your mind.This is not a sign of weakness by the way, everyone reacts to every situation in a different way, it's part of the human condition. 

Regardless of weather you are in the public eye or just some girl blogging from her bedroom, no one deserves to be the subject of a hate campaign. The internet certainly highlights how nasty and selfish people really are, always trying to catch people out, judging them by reading into every tweet or facebook status. 

So what can be done to solve this problem? Do we make it the schools/parents  responsibility  to supervise their kids when they are online? However internet bullying isn't confined to those under 18 so do we bring in laws to punish  offenders in the more serious cases? But who are we to  judge what is serious or a minor form of harassment. Or do we simply say c'est la vie and allow  bullying and abusive messages to be  part of everyday life? 

I really don't know, from what I've witnessed online a majority of humans seem to be, unfortunately, beyond the prospect of developing any kind of  moral conscience. Perhaps any hope  I have for a hate free internet community  depends on whether the leopard  can change it's spots...

Again, I think that self respect is a lot of the problem but not a valid excuse. I leave you with this quote by Laurence  Sterne:

Respect for ourselves guides our morals; respect for others guides our manners.